It's writing.
Two years after I began my journey (or is it three now?) it's still hard. I've been struggling whether or not to continue my writing journey. Despite progression in my own work, I struggle with how HARD it is. Never in my life have I loved and dreaded doing something so much. I can see the worlds, hear the characters, picture their relationships, their homes, their stories, their lives. But what's on the page never measures up. It never flows as smoothly as it should. There are too many options. Too many directions. Too many ellipses....
And it's painful. Something I love to do shouldn't be THIS hard, right? Maybe I should accept that this might not be my thing. Except the thought makes my heart hurt.
And then Laini Taylor spoke to me. Not in person. But it felt like it.
Haven't already heard about her (have you been living under a rock)? She's the author several books including DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE. At the end of the audio book, Taylor did an interview with her editor. The two discussed her writing process and how she struggled as a new writer. So much of that interview resonated with me on a personal level. It was exactly what I needed to hear.
You know how that happens? When you're so lost and someone or something swoops in like an invisible hand and guides you back on the path? That's Laini Taylor. I literally cried. Her short interview reminded me that the process of uncovering (or discovering) my stories is magical. And, as her characters learn in DAUGHTER OF SMOKE AND BONE, hope is its own kind of magic.
Thanks to Laini Taylor, I'm back on the rocky path with my compass...and hope.
I LOVED DOS&B. And now I'm dying to hear that interview... Taylor's a beautiful writer, and so are you. Keep swimming~ :o) <3 ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteHold on to that love of writing and never let go of the dream. I'm reminded that at the beginning everything is hard--it's hard to learn to read, it's hard to learn basic math, it's hard to keep a yard or a house, but somehow we never give up on these things.
ReplyDeleteThe things we tend to give up on, killing our souls in the process, are things the world says are unnecessary.
I'm going to give you a quote from Remnant Population, by Elizabeth Moon. "The joy of creation, of play, had been the empty space unfilled by family and social duties...she herself needed to play, to follow her own childish desire to handle beautiful things and make more beauty."
Creation is a necessity, not just a desire.
Lauren Ritz
lauren-ritz.blogspot.com
Thank you so much for the beautiful quote and inspirational words.
DeleteI have a lot of moments when I love my writing, and a lot of moments when it all seems to suck and I think it's never going to work out. One of the reasons I blog is to read about other writers, get support, find inspiration in other writers' stories. Writing is awesome, but it's work too.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad your back on the path!
I try to write through the bad times because the good times are worth it. But sometimes I do get down about it.
ReplyDeleteI have to check out that book. I need a good pep talk every now and then. :)
The audio book of DOS&B is excellent. :)
DeleteThe good times are worth it. I just needed to be reminded that they are out there.
I haven't heard that interview, but it sounds like I should :) We all have our downs, but I hope you get the push you need to feel confident!
ReplyDeleteThat sort of realignment is simply not easy to come by. I am thrilled for you, Kari Marie.
ReplyDeleteThanks Suze. I feel like I've been on a long trip (or maybe a detour?).
DeleteThis is all so true. I'll have a scene in my head I'll be verbalizing it in my head, beautifully, but then, when I get it down on the page it's somehow different and not nearly so eloquent. Where did it go? I think most writers are a bit masochistic. It's a good kind of hurt, like yoga stretches.
ReplyDelete"hope is its own kind of magic." Beautiful. And so, so true. I love that you found received this gift from Lani's words. I hope you are able to tell her that one day. ((hugs)) Hang in there, Kari. And celebrate that hope!
ReplyDeleteThe hard journey only makes the victory sweeter. Sometimes it takes a revelation like you had to know you are on the right path. Stay strong. Stay determined. Keep writing. You can't fail your characters now! Go Kari go!!
ReplyDeleteThank you. I'm back in the saddle and feeling fine!
DeleteOh my God! I've been feeling like this for weeks. Unlike you it's only getting worse for me. There are days I look around and go "I can just stop it all now. Right?"
ReplyDeleteI'm glad the interview spoke to you and got you back on your journey. :)